When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn’t keep around.
And it’s quite sad.
There are lots of women that has the potential to become a great girlfriend.
But I had my head higher than my ass.
…maybe that’s a little harsh.
But this comes down from TWO distinct problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I’ve never fully recovered. But I’ve stopped trying to recover. And that’s what’s made me move past this “proving myself” thing.
I just accepted who I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But…
Do you think women have cooler interests?
Is getting drunk, Myspace and shopping is cooler than what I’m into?
It’s all relative.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
A woman won’t accept you if you don’t accept yourself.
Can you picture out a woman wanting to be your girlfriend and you don’t like yourself?
She will HATE your presence and don’t want to be around you.
Because if you don’t like yourself, you can’t really like her. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!”
Almost NO ONE accepts themselves completely, that’s in my experience.
And I am one of them.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
The degree to which your game becomes better is if you know the degree to which you stop these thoughts.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn’t stop after your opener, after “mating”, after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
The “game” is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.
You might be thinking “But I’m insecure, nervous and awkward.” I disagree. That’s not you.
That is the indistinct you.
That’s you trying to come out, but your old mental habits and ego stop you in expressing what you really want to express.
Before I proceed deeper, I want first to go to the second reason why I couldn’t keep girls around after sleeping with them.
I wasn’t aware of shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t shape.
In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.
You see, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Men usually implicitly tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it’s not really her fault. She’s just doing what she’s told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach a woman and treat her like she’s lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I’ve developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And women are different from each other. For example, I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want one woman to be just a partner in bed. I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what we want.
I think of all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.
I remember all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was to not see those women again.
But once I began to accept myself and figure out what I wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is a about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, date, and sleep with.
The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE if you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine.
