Useful Mindsets for Disarming Male Competition

Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you saw a group of girls with one or two guys with them and you ASSUMED the guys were cooler than you so you avoided approaching because you feared embarrassment.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They assume that the girl is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn’t think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus – she’s not a guy’s “slave” or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.

Approaching a woman who is “with” a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason guys don’t approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that the “other guy” is more cooler, stronger, or somehow powerful than they are.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

He doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that can end up their game.

And then their genes were taken out of the “game” so to speak.

So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.

The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the basis on this hard-wired survival strategy – the false assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily avoid women.

The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

For many instances I’ve approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your brain – just don’t be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the other guy can be more “dominant” than you are.

The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the caveman days, the alpha male had real power – he had access to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he could beat up competitors.

But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every man with a source of income can survive on his own – if you’re reading this, you probably have access to food and shelter. You’re all set.

Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It’s illegal.

You’ll always end up losing if you attack another person because the police always win.

If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU FOR NO REASON!

Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???

It was annoying – remembering all the girls I missed out on because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

When you’re on your deathbed, you are going to look back on all the things you did and didn’t do. How painful would it be to say “I didn’t meet that girl because I was scared of another guy,” or “there were so many beautiful women I could’ve enjoyed, but I didn’t even try because I saw them TALKING to another guy.”

I don’t want that to be you.

So let’s analyze it deeply. You truly don’t understand dominance if you are seeing the other guy as more dominant.

You see, if you’re concerned with who is more dominant you instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There’s a better focus.

You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become dominant. And dominant men doesn’t care who is more dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is that they are doing or want.

So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead of worrying about whether or not he’s more dominant than you, focus on the girls.

I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it’s proven to be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don’t even know the guy – they just meet him.

Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely the rest know him.

It’s rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating – usually they will bring a guy who is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.

And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means he’s NOT with the other girls – they are fair game.

When you are concerned with who’s the alpha male, you are by definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it’s questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.

Avoid some assumption, just get your focus in a USEFUL place, and don’t allow some random dude to stop you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!